Part I
I arrive a little early for my flight from DTW - EWR hoping to catch a standby. Good news the standby is late so I have a good chance to catch it. Bad news it is sold out. I decide to wait to see what might happen so find a seat and wait. Delay changes from 6:15 to 5:45 - it was originally scheduled for 5:00. At 5:20 they start boarding. At 5:40 they start calling names. A group of Japanese folks start hollaring into cell phones trying to get people. The gate agent starts calling an entire gaggle of names many Japanese many others. At least 5 times the gate agent asks the Japanese group if their entire group is with them. It is clear they speak no english as they do not even acknowledge that she is asking them questions. Ultimately the group of 8 finally all get to the gate from being scattered to the four corners of the airport and board the plane. After another several minutes two heavy set ladies come running and panting to the gate: "We thought it was 6:15. We were getting food, pant, pant, cough, cough". They finally catch their breath and board the plane. The calls for people continue, by name and by group. Two more stragglers wander to the gate at a leisurely pace - "Oh look its boarding", "I thought it was 6:15 its only ten to six." After several more calls the final couple meander to the gate and board. The gate agent states: "attention all standy by passengers the flight has checked in full". Now I was dissappointed but I was just completeley amazed that people would walk so far away from a delayed flight that they could not keep an eye on the time. Flights frequently change times and possibly even gates. How incredibly silly.
Part II
I go down to my gate and plop into a chair. After about 30 minutes they start to board. I have no status so I am forced to wait for my row. They call first class, elites, exits and finally start row calling. 18-22 go on, a few minutes later 15-18 go. Then nothing. One gate agent leaves the area to go do something. The remaining gate agent starts dealing with standby passengers and time continues to tick away. Fifteen minutes later the lone gate agent is joined by the original plus another plus a pilot trying to catch a ride. The three gate agents now start to type furiously into the computer (I am truly amazed at the number of keystrokes it takes to do seemingly simple things on these computers). They call some row, in fact the same rows they've already called but 19-22, then 15 and higher. Of course nobody goes up so they return to typing their epic adventure novel on the small gate computer. After a few more minutes they finally call my row and I board the plane. I work my way to my seat and watch three people load their bags sideways so as to use up the most amount of overhead space (leaving none near my seat) and sit down. I then proceed to turn them all the correct way with roller wheel towards the back of the bin and lo and behold there's room for my bag. I slam my bag in and sit.
Part III
I started typing this in anticipation of not being able to post before we pushed off. How naïve I was. We now have a 'minor' mechanical problem. Who knows when and if this plane will take off.
Part IV
Well its been one hour and five minutes since Part III.
We're still here. They've swapped a few computer components and even went so far as to completely reboot the plane. They actually did a full power down - ten count - restart. No dice we're still here. No communication for the last 15 minutes. I feel like a trapped rat. Not sure what the rules are for false imprisonment. Maybe I can sue them. That might be fun. The interesting part is that people are standing in the aisles walking up and down throughout the plane. Talking and yapping, general muddling around. For goodness sake we are at Northwest's hub. Just wheel another airplane out of the damned hangar, and put us on it. It really doesn't seem like that hard of a process.
On one small note - perhaps I would have been better off not getting on the plane so soon. Had the novelists taken a bit longer I'd be sitting in my cramped little seat slightly less.
Part V
Changing planes. Well we've finally tried everything there is to try on the first plane. Now we're finally off to plane number two. I'm typing this piece from the new gate. Which by the way - even though this is a crappy way to spend an evening - the new
Midfield Terminal in Detroit - actually is a very nice facility. Very clean - nice wide open aisles - comfortable chairs and a lot of power outlets to plug in laptops and other various devices. The walkway between A, B and C concourses is underground under the runways and has a very cool soothing art display with cool music playing. It gives you a very underwater kind of feeling.
Part VI
Well they're starting to call rows again - let's see if this process goes any better the second time around.
